


Nighttime sadness

by ocean_radish



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Other, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Relationships, Platonic tsukkiyama but like it could be romantic if you want it to, Sleepovers, tsukki is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-16 19:13:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28587006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ocean_radish/pseuds/ocean_radish
Summary: Tsukishima doesn’t want to be vulnerable, even with his best friend. He knows he’s going to be sad during the night because he always is, and he’s not looking forward to Yamaguchi seeing that side of him even if they are best friends.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 1
Kudos: 31





	Nighttime sadness

**Author's Note:**

> Supposed to be a platonic fic but if u see this as them being bfs go for it

Tsukishima has been scared for this weekend all week. Yamaguchi was coming over for a sleepover, because “your parents are away, Tsukki! You’re gonna be lonely!”, which hasn’t happened in years. Tsukishima wasn’t scared because it was Yamaguchi was coming over, he does that all the time, but because Yamaguchi was staying the night. Usually at night, Tsukishima lays on his bed and eventually gets sad for no reason at all. Not crying, he doesn’t let himself cry and by now he’s not sure he can cry, but sad nonetheless. Tsukishima doesn’t want to be vulnerable, even with his best friend. He knows he’s going to be sad during the night because he always is, and he’s not looking forward to Yamaguchi seeing that side of him even if they are best friends.

at Tsukishima’s house (sleepover time!)

3 pm, Saturday 

Yamaguchi arrives at Tsukishima’s house with a bag containing all of the things he’ll need for the night: a change of clothes, pyjamas, a toothbrush and toothpaste, his phone, and a charger.  
“Hi Tsukki!”  
“Hey Yams, you can put your stuff in my room. There’s a futon set up for you but if you want you can put your stuff on my bed. I don’t care either way.”  
“Ok Tsukki! I’ll be right back”  
Yamaguchi went upstairs to Tsukishima’s room and put his bag on Tsukishima’s bed.  
Yamaguchi went back downstairs after putting his stuff on the bed. He saw Tsukishima on the couch and waved. Tsukishima spoke up  
“Oh cool you’re back, what do you want to do?”  
Yamaguchi knew what he wanted to do but he didn’t want to make Tsukishima uncomfortable so he gave him a chance to choose the activity  
“It’s your house Tsukki, why don’t you decide what we do?”  
“This whole sleepover was your idea, Yams. You should pick what we do first.” Tsukishima would probably have chosen something to do if he had any ideas, but he didn’t.  
“I know Tsukki, why don’t we bake something?” Yamaguchi asked excitedly  
“Sure” Tsukishima smiled a bit, he was glad Yamaguchi was having fun  
“I know strawberry shortcake is your favourite so let’s try to make some!!”  
“That sounds great, Yams.”

7 pm  
They ended up burning the strawberry shortcake, twice. The first time it burnt, they put the oven on too high. The second time, they both thought the other had put on a timer and got distracted eating supper until they smelled burning. Neither of them were good in the kitchen but they had fun trying, and that’s what matters.

“Yams, do you want to watch a movie?”  
“Hell yeah, Tsukki! What movie were you thinking of?”  
“I was thinking we could watch some Disney movies? Like the princess ones or something.”  
“oh my gosh yes Tsukki! I haven’t seen a Disney movie in FOREVER!”

They both changed into their pyjamas and sat on Tsukishima’s bed to watch Disney princess movies

3 am

It was getting late and both boys were tired, so they turned off Tsukishima’s computer, they were in the middle of watching cinderella, they stopped at the part right after the step sisters tore Cinderella’s dress, before the fairy godmother appeared.

“Imagine what the rest of the team would think if they knew you liked Disney princess movies, Tsukki!” Yamaguchi said through tired giggles  
Tsukishima was laughing too when he replied  
“Oh my god, shut up Yamaguchi!”  
“Haha sorry Tsukki! Goodnight”  
“Goodnight, Yams.”

Tsukishima put his glasses on his bedside table. Of course, as soon as he was in bed with the movie turned off and nothing to distract him, the nightly sadness set in. There was no reason for it, as usual. His mind got to wandering as it does, and he thought about his insecurities. He thought about how mean he could be, how his grades were slightly worse than usual, how his blocks in volleyball didn’t seem like they were improving. He felt like a failure. He was staring at the ceiling with his head in the clouds when Yamaguchi took him from his thoughts  
“Tsukki,” Yamaguchi whispered, “is it okay if I cuddle you, I forgot my stuffie and i usually sleep holding onto something so-“  
Yamaguchi was cut off by Tsukishima answering  
“Of course Yams, you don’t really need an excuse either you know.”  
Yamaguchi turned on his side and put his upper arm and leg on top of Tsukishima.  
“Thanks Tsukki, goodnight again!”  
“Goodnight Yams.”

4 am

On a regular night, Tsukishima wouldn’t cry. Even if his thoughts wandered to the darkest places, hell even if Tsukishima wanted to cry, he wouldn’t. By now holding in tears and emotions isn’t something he does consciously, it’s a force of habit. Tonight however, was not a regular night. Maybe it was because Tsukishima was touch starved, or maybe it was bad luck. It could have been a combination of both. Tsukishima was wondering why Yamaguchi was even friends with him, he felt awful, but it was like every other night. Until Tsukishima realized he was crying. It wasn’t just a couple of tears either, Tsukishima was practically sobbing. 

Yamaguchi wasn’t asleep, it always took him a long time to sleep, but he was close to it when he heard a small sniffle coming from Tsukishima. Yamaguchi noticed his hand that was near Tsukishima’s face was damp, Tsukishima was crying.

Tsukishima thought  
‘Hopefully Yamaguchi doesn’t wake up ,because of this’ but just as he thought Yamaguchi was sound asleep, he spoke  
“Tsukki you’re crying a lot, are you okay? Did you have a nightmare? Did I squeeze you too hard?”  
“Yams I’m fine, just go back to bed.”  
“‘Fine’ my ass Tsukki, you never show emotions, let alone cry. What’s wrong?”  
Maybe it was because it was late at night, maybe it was bad luck again. But Yamaguchi asking if he was okay made Tsukishima cry even harder. His thoughts were as blurry as his vision and he was caught up in all of the emotions he’d been repressing. They’d both sat up now because of how surprising this situation was.  
“I- I don’t know, Yams. I was just- just sad and i got to thinking and- and- and i just- i just started crying-“  
“It’s okay, Tsukki, I’m here. Do you want a hug, or do you want me to just listen? We could go back to sleep if you want but I don’t think that would help?”  
“A hug w-would be nice...”  
“Ok then, c’mere Tsukki”  
Tsukishima moved over to where Yamaguchi was sitting on his bed, and Yamaguchi pulled him into a tight hug. Tsukishima was on Yamaguchi’s lap crying into his shoulder, while Yamaguchi has his arms around Tsukishima’s waist, and one hand rubbing circles onto Tsukishima’s back. Yamaguchi made sure to keep his voice calm and quiet even though he was somewhat panicked because he hasn’t seen Tsukishima like this since they were kids.  
“There we go. Do you want to talk about it, I’ll listen if you do.”  
Tsukishima took a couple of minutes to calm down before speaking again  
“I’m a failure Yams. My grades have been lower than usual, and I can be so rude, you’re like my only friend, hell I don’t even know why you stayed my friend after all this time, I mean I’m such a wreck Yams. I don’t know how I made it this far. Honestly it feels like the world would be better if I just disappeared.”  
After hearing all of those feelings, Yamaguchi started to cry a little too. He responded saying  
“Tsukki, you’re not a failure. Your grades are fine, and if I didn’t want to be your best friend I would have ended the friendship but I didn’t. Yeah you can be sorta mean, but I like that about you Tsukki. You aren’t afraid to tell people what you think, and that’s an amazing quality. Also the world would suck if you disappeared, Tsukki. Don’t let yourself convince you it wouldn’t.”  
Tsukishima had stopped crying as much and both boys were extremely tired  
“Th-thanks Yams. It’s late, we should go to sleep now but like I-I don’t want to let go.”  
“You don’t have to.” Yamaguchi responded.

They laid down in each other’s arms, and fell asleep as soon as their heads hit the pillows.

Sunday, 1 pm

Yamaguchi was packing up while Tsukishima was making breakfast/lunch. They hadn’t spoken about the previous night because they both felt they didn’t need to. Yamaguchi came downstairs with his bag, and sat at the table. Tsukishima brought out the cereal he found and said  
“What happened last night stays between us, okay?”  
Yamaguchi giggled and said  
“Of course Tsukki, but you made it sound like we kissed or something!”

They both laughed, and Tsukishima almost dropped the cereal box he was holding. Everything was good.

**Author's Note:**

> I am so bad at making titles omfg anyways


End file.
